Mom cannot use technology without depending on me. How do I fix this?

Question

I am university student, I‘m finishing my MBA and I live 500 miles from my mom. My mother is 60 she has master’s degree and is illiterate when it comes to any sort of technology. Here is my issue, I understand that for an older generation it is difficult to dig through a computer, but she refuses to learn any technology despite its prevalence in her life. Every time there is a modicum of an issue I get a phone call to “fix it” this is true for her laptop running vista as well as her iPad (yes, she has an iPad, no I haven’t a clue why). I know my parents went through a lot to raise me, my brother, and my sister but I am sick and tired of the hysterical phone calls at 3 am because she cannot attach a file to an e-mail. Additionally, when I tell her to dig around and explore programs she ignores me. When I try to show her something in a conceptual way by explaining how things work she wants step by step instructions, which are useless in the real world (remember back in the day when we had to print directions and one wrong turn ruined everything) she should know this she is, in fact, a teacher.
My question is, how do I stop this dependence on me? Clearly, she has to use technology but whenever there is an issue, I get the call and every time I “fix” the problem, it just enables her inability to use technology effectivley. I’ll give a prime example, for a year she hasn’t used the Bluetooth speakerphone in her car this is quite an easy task on her Blackberry Bold simply she has to turn on her Motorola T305 (one button) then go to Bluetooth settings (on the main menu) and hit pair then select Motorola T305 and enter 0000 that’s it. It took me ten seconds to type that out but every time I get a call from her, she uses the crappy BB speakerphone (it sounds like Charlie Browns teacher). I find this behavior to be quite selfish, that sounded terrible but it is true; she often has a major attitude when I am called and it wastes huge amounts of my time because she doesn’t listen to my directions, on top of this she never tries anything it’s just boom small snag and then she picks up the phone.
I was also wondering what would be a good remote desktop software to deal with her more serious issues I want something free or super cheap that would allow me to change system settings. I am running a dual boot of XP SP3 and Linux on my main laptop and Linux Ubuntu on my netbook. Thanks for reading this (it’s become sort of a big vent/rant) and any tips? If you’re wondering my parents are divorced 56 year old dad can code, and my big bro is a university professor of film editing (he gets to hide behind the whole I only know the Mac OS), I have no clue how my sister gets out of this but I think mom calls her after I refuse to deal with her crap.

Answer 1

I instantly recognize the main problem here. Your "question" is 556 words. Boil it down to 25 words or less, like those boxtop essay contests.



If it were me, I would solve this by gently delaying the help. When she calls at 3 am, say "Sorry, I'm not awake enough. I will check my sources and get back to you. Bye." Then send her a text message at 10 am with lots of good advice. After three or four such delays, she will start to seek out help online like the rest of the world -- oh, I mean the non-Yahoo Answers world. Matter of fact, that's a good idea -- tell her to start using Yahoo Answers for her question-answer debate.

Answer 2

Well, definitely I think you should use a remote support software. There is no doubt about it.



I am a frequent user of remote support softwares, to avoid those kind of issues myself.



Lately I have been using BeAnywhere's remote support software. It is very affordable, and you can even download the free version from their website. This way you will be able to change system settings on your mom's computer, help her resolving her computer issues and show her how things are done. This will definitely help you.



You should visit their website for more information. Try it here: http://www.beanywhere.com



I hope this helps!

Answer 3

LOL... If you cherished your Mom, you'll rise up off your @ss and repair it your rattling self... It does not take greater than 15 sec to tighten the O ring or positioned plumbers tape across the leak... LOL...