Take the time to learn Linux and it's advantages before saying it sucks.
"I can't game like a true gamer"
There are plenty of good open-source games:
https://help.ubuntu.com/community/Games
ID Software makes Linux versions of most of their games:
http://www.idsoftware.com/
Wine can run lots of Windows games like World of Warcraft, Call of Duty 1-4, Eve, Guild Wars, Counterstrike, Half Life, etc
http://appdb.winehq.org/
"I can't use a superior image editor"
Have you taken the time to learn GIMP? It's a fantastic image editor. Also, Photoshop runs great in Wine
"awesome programs such as mozbackup"
Open your home folder and press CTRL+H, that will show all the hidden "." folders. Find the folder called ".mozilla" and move it somewhere for safekeeping. All your history, bookmarks, addons, etc are stored in that folder. Simply copy the folder back to restore them. Instead of Registry, Linux uses simple text files for configuration, so a program like "mozbackup" isn't needed.
Search the repositories with your package manager, there is tons of free software you can installl without even opening your web browser.
Trust me... If you take the time to learn Linux, you will be able to do more than you can in Windows. You will actually be able to USE your computer.